The Underground Railroad

unChristian: A Book Review

So why are Christians thought of as judgmental... hypocritical... antigay... boring? David Kinnaman's 3-year research study through the Barna Group aims to answer some of those questions in his book unChristian. I have read the book, and have some thoughts on his findings. Remember: this is only a brief post trying to cover an entire book on a touchy subject. I will do my best to be concise!

At first I couldn't wait to dive into the book. At last! Someone speaking some reality! Immediately, however, George Barna sets the tone for him in the introduction by deriding written works relying on personal anecdotes (p.8). 

Great.

Another research snob.

If it isn't logically studied through the lens of the scientific method, it is of little worth.

Don't get me wrong! Solid research has its place and is valuable, but not at the expense of other sources of knowledge, insight and wisdom.

Okay... Barna's bias is set, but to be fair this is an attitude of many-a-statistician, Christian or not. Press through it and move on. Kinnaman seems to truly have done a thorough and solid work in his research -- interviews, anecdotes (qualitative); and tools gathering statistics (quantitative). Over a period of 3 years, using population samples crossing ethnic and socioecnomic lines, as well as religious differences, it appears the foundation is well set.

Definitions:

Outsiders: those claiming to be looking at the Christian faith from the outside in (p.17)
Insiders: those claiming to be of the Christian faith looking at it from the inside out 
Busters: those born between 1965-1983
Mosaics: those born between 1984-2002 

I appreciated Kinnaman pointing out that using lanaguage such as "pagan" or "the lost" labels outsiders in such a negative light that these people are immediatley put on the defensive. He refuses to use traditional labels, nor does he "name names" -- Christian leaders, churches or groups who have 'done wrong'. His discretion is well taken.

However, Kinnaman's bias does ring out almost as quickly as Barna's with such as phrases as how we "hijack Jesus" by "softening or re-shaping the Gospel" (pp.32-33). I would agree but Kinnaman is coming at this research as a conservative Christian addressing Christians (p.27). Here, I sighed... Okay, he and I are looking at the same issues from quite different parts of the Christian continuum. For example, when the author repeatedly includes buying a lottery ticket as a form of sin, I disagreed completely. So I had to really scrutinize those actions Kinnaman labelled as sinful, because this would obviously affect his numbers. Bear in mind, numbers are as easily manipulated as words. Furthermore, I disagreed with his definitions of things like discipleship ("learning about Christ, learning about the Bible", p.50), or lifestyle ("doing good and not sinning", p.50). This could be left for a different post entirely, but suffice it to say that discipleship is far deeper than helping someone memorize Scripture, and lifestyle can be far richer than just a moral compass.

So as I read through the pages, I realized I was reading through the lens of an outsider still on the inside. Many of his findings I have found to personally apply to me, and yes... I am one who would really rather not "bring a friend to church". So there's my bias.

Moving on.

Kinnaman focuses on the 6 top areas respondants said evangelical Christians were being destructive towards people to. Now, this is the spot where some evangelicals will say: "But even Jesus said THEY will hate us because of Him!" Rightly, Kinnaman addresses this issue stating "we have become famous for what we oppose rather than what we are for" (p.26). Christians are not being repelled because of our radical love for Christ and others, but because our version of 'love' has been to beat people down with their sin, get converts, demand repentance, and then... leave them. If this is how people are experiencing church, then absolutely attention needs to be paid to what outsiders are saying! They are not hating Jesus... they are hating US!!!

Kinnaman digs into 10 broad areas that repeatedly announced themselves in the results he took from respondants (6 of which he focuses on in the book). He focuses mainly on the 16-29 age group. I was not surprised in the least when the author said the top 3 reasons people leave the church or refuse to become part of one are: 1) we're antigay; 2) we're judgemental, and 3) we're hypocrites. He begins each chapter with how the thousands of respondants perceive Christians, and then proposes a new perception whe could work towards.

Hypocrisy:
Perception: Christians say one thing but live something entirely different.
New Perception: Christians are transparent about their flaws and act first, talk second (p.41).  

Kinnaman claims that as much of a perception as this is, Mosaics and Busters aren't always bothered by hypocrisy because at some level, everyone is a hypocrite, and our generations apparently are okay with living this kind of dissonance. I'm not sure I appreciate his take on all of us being okay with hypocrisy, but I did appreciate his pointing out that Jesus called only the religious leaders of the day "hypocrites!"... guess who's taken on that role today? Us. 

Point taken.

We have such a holier-than-thou attitude, with a few doctrines of grace and love thrown in that we seem like lying snakes (p.51... the snake thing I added). Remember: perceptions are important here. We are not being seen as relational and approachable, but aloof. I know I can't live up to the moral standards set out by this flavour of Christianity. It turns my stomach. Yet... I pause here and look inward to see where hypocrisy is rearing its ugly head in my own life.

Get Saved!
Perception: Christians are insincere and concerned only with converting others
New Perception: Christians cultivate relationships & environments where others can be deeply transformed by God (p.67) 

Ummm... why aren't we creating environments and cultivating relationships where we all are deeply transformed? I was put off immediately by the well-intentioned new perception, but it still had the air of pomposity to it: we create the places, we cultivate the relationships, we are Christians and we draw people in. It is still reductionist dogma, consumer-driven "God is just for ME" individualism. I saw where he was coming from but it fell short. Yes, we do need to create sacred spaces of healing, reconciliation and restoration, but thinking that it is always for 'the other' still perpetuates the us/them myth.

As one astute young man who came into our drop-in centre so aptly put it: "You Christians don't give a shit about me. You just want to convert me so I'll think like you. You don't love me at all. Even if I did convert, you wouldn't love me until I acted like you."

Ouch.

I can't blame the guy. I am sick to the teeth of this "Repent or go to hell!" message that excludes a holistic magnificence in the Gospel. It's wrong. That's my interpretation, I guess. But after living nearly 20 years with the fear of hell gripping my life, driving me to near psychosis, and the love of God so far away, I can say as an evangelical reject (as Kurt Willem's would call me!) that reducing the Gospel to a heaven/hell issue is an afront to all of who Christ is and why He came.

Antihomosexual
Perception: Christians show contempt for gays and lesbians
New Perception: Christians show compassion and love to all people, regardless of their lifestyle (p.91) 

Now I know with a limited amount of space, Kinnaman couldn't address ALL aspects of his research in depth, but the attiude of "We all KNOW it's wrong, but we're going about expressing it the wrong way" attitude was another put off. Again, it seemed like a veiled attempt for another evangelical stance to come at "the problem" in a nicer way. Was there any discussion as to whether or not Scripture has been misinterpreted? Was there any intentional attempt to dialogue with the LGBTQ community to learn new perspectives? It was hard to swallow the "hate the sin, love the sinner" merry-go-round when it still sounded so arrogant. What about gays who have been "born again" (as Kinnaman describes it) and still struggle? What about Christians who discover they are gay? What about gays who have been abused by the church?

However I did appreciate that Kinnaman pointed out the complexity of the LGBTQ community, its experience with the evangelical church, and vice versa. It is not a black/white issue. So while I perceived the author's attempt to elevate the conversation to fall somewhat short, it was not entirely without merit. For a great resource about conversations and really elevating the conversation between gays and Christians, check out Andrew Marin's, my friend and former classmate, book Love is an Orientation. You won't find black/white, yes/no answers. But you will find some of your questions posed there, and how others have addressed things. The Marin Foundation is doing some great working building bridges between churches and the LGBTQ community where others have certainly feared or disdained to tread.

Sheltered
Perception: Christians are boring, unintelligent, old-fashioned, and out of touch with reality
New Perception: Christians are engaged, informed, and offer sophisticated responses to the issues people face (p. 121) 

What greater evil force is there than hate? Rejection. When Christians deign not to associate with outsiders, we are perceived as snobby, arrogant, fearful, in our own little worlds, too good for others, etc., etc. We've all heard it before. Kinnaman (shown left) makes a distinction that there are times when we pull back from the world (for example, not letting a child watch innappropriate videos), yet our isolationism in the name of not being of this world has hampered our rep. 

Yup.

Bring out the torches and pitchforks, because I cringe when believers yank their kids out of every activity where perceived demonism or sin might be lurking. Sin is everywhere. It certainly won't hesitate to be in your home (if we're going to go that route). Hiding is cowardice. Conforming is also a risk, but Jesus took that risk & faced conformity by acting radically amongst the untouchable classes. 

Too Political
Perception: Christians are primarily motivated by a political agenda and promote right-wing politics
New Perception: Christians are characterized by respecting people, thinking biblically, & finding solutions to complex issues (p.153) 

The Moral Majority... The Tea Party... Canada's conservative Right... traditional family values... anyone else feel like fingernails are being scraped over a blackboard? 

The author points out that conservatives are trying very hard to create a Christian government. I would agree, but add that we did that already -- with disastrous consequences. We had power centuries ago and still do today whether we like to admit it or not, made policies that created genocides, slavery, poverty, disease and death. This isn't Jesus Christ. Why would we want that back? Are we that power hungry?

Should Christians back out of politics altogether? The author says "no" since the Christian influence needs to extend into every area of life. But advocating for things like making gay sex illegal is dangerous. Christians might be successful in gaining that policy (scary!), but they will effectively destroy any hope of creating relationships with gays and lesbians (and what is with our fixation on homosexuality anyway!?). Not only that, but policy will logically have to extend to YOUR bedroom as well. Do YOU want the government dictating your sex life? Thought not.

Judgmental
Perception: Christians are prideful and quick to find fault in others
New Perception: Christians show grace by finding the good in others and seeing their potential to be Christ followers (p.181) 

This one struck me hard. Not only because I've felt deeply judged and wronged, but because I know I've been judgmental too... towards conservative Christians especially of late. It's wrong and I know it. It's one thing to disagree on issues, but to truly dislike conservative ideology and let that trickle into the Body of Christ... well... let's just say a friend of mine and I have committed to each other that our jaded spirits do need healing FROM church, but we also need reconciliation WITH church. A sincere transformation of Love is in order... and wanted. It is so easy to slide into judgmentalism. As a wise professor once told me: "Hurt people hurt people." 

That being said, some days I think If I hear that the social gospel is not the "real" gospel one more time, I'll ---!!!!!!! Remember, I'm looking at this issue being an outsider on the inside. When I am told that my faith is not real, it is not sharing the Gospel to enough people, that my 'conversion experience' was a false conversion, when it is not a real gospel, or that I'm preaching communism or nazi socialism, feelings do get hurt. I get jaded. I feel alone. 

And I'm not the only one.

I was waiting for the abortion shoe to be dropped, and here it is. Kinnaman describes an interview he conducted with a young woman named "Lisa" (p.162). An outsider, she attended an "insiders" women's group on and off. One day, the group was talking about sexuality, intimacy and those sorts of issues women do tend to wander off on at times. She joined in the conversation by sharing how she was empathizing with her outsider friend who had had an abortion. The conversation immediately changed in tone: it went from sharing with one another, to insider women preaching and condemning Lisa. It wasn't until Lisa had the chance to explain herself that she, herself, had once had an abortion and how badly it wounded her, no one really quite knew where to go from there.

Silence.

I can only imagine the pins dropping all over the place in that church.

Once again, I disagree with Kinnaman's broad sweep that Mosaics and Busters are morally relativistic and content be so. Newsflash: EVERYONE is morally relative (as my brother would say). Yet, the plain truth of the matter is that insiders' words and actions have done deep damage to outsiders. These outsiders are not "pagans" or "lost", but by and large people who have encountered church and Christianity already! But because of bad behaviour, and wounding judgments, they/we never go back. We give up. I mean, who wants to be speared week after week? Not me.

Kinnaman is correct in stating stereotypes must go if judgmentalism is to be demolished (p.191). They do kill relationships. Christians don't have all the correct lenses through which we see the world. Far from it. Just look at how entangled we are in insisting that our countries (US and Canada) are Christian nations, whose forefathers founded our great empires on godly principles, thus our definition of freedom, capitalism, and democracy are THE correct and godly ways to live. Where does it say THAT in Scripture?

From unChristian to Christian

The author sums up his book with ways insiders can change perceptions - resolve the image problem. It's true there will always be nay-sayers, doubters, and spiteful critics. However, it's also true that insiders can live better than how we are. 

~ respond with the right perspective
~ connect with people
~ be creative (evangelicals aren't known for their creativity or passion for the arts as expressions of worship, despite their being evangelical artists... we certainly can do much better here)
~ serve people (social justice IS a part of a whole Gospel! To denounce otherwise is to denounce major reasons why Christ came)
~ a lifestyle of compassion (pp.205-215)

Okay... a brief summary after a lengthy blog: I did not agree with many Kinnaman's definitions of sin, spiritual disciplines or what it means to be evangelical. I did not like his rather proud sounding tone at times which bordered on hubris. I certainly felt disappointed when he truly grappled with a complex issue but then fell short of actually shedding light on solutions that could come from places other than traditional dogma. His guest authors who contribute to his work spanned the spectrum from John Stott to Brian McLaren. I am still unsure as to whether this was a deep intention to include diverse voices from across Christianity, or just a tip of the hat to show conservatives were playing ball (and don't think the minority of women's voices went unnoticed).

However...

I remember how Paulo Friere insisted that true change of an oppressed people could only come from within. I believe the same to be true here. Conservative Christianity, in my mind, has become not oppressed but an oppressor group. Known for its disrespect of persons, dehumanizing methods (calling it 'love' so people are fully aware of their sin), ignorance, isolationism, and poor judgments, deep and true change can only come from within the group. David Kinnaman appears to be just such a voice. I could blather on and on until I'm blue in the face as to why telling unwed mothers they are not "God's true vision for the family" is abhorrent, but until people like the author stand up and share these realities between themselves, we all will stil be known as unChristian.

Next up... "You Lost Me"

 

For The Slave is Our Brother...

How do we end slavery in our own communities? We create family... we welcome those in chains... we see the chains we wield or carry ourselves and surrender them to Jesus... we seek active peace, confess the reality of divisions between us denominationally, racially, socio-economically, and work vigorously to reconcile them... we lament injustice, praise when it is called for, & see all life as sacred worship... we play, laugh, and choose a rooted love in a hypermobile culture... we become new creatures unlike any created thing ever seen, & declare in word & silence the Spirit's transformation all of our lives.

NoKo One Large Trafficked Culture?

When you take a good long look at a picture of one man, one woman, one child, one person, it is hard to believe that a solitary figure could embody the seed of so much destruction, poverty, damnation, and evil. (I'm not going to use the Hitler analogy, as others have done, since the guy has become the stereotypical basis of comparison of our age). Kim Jong Il was his own form of dictator.

After reading the comments and persecptives of people in the 'free world', reeling from the shock of Kim's death, I was struck by the massive comparison of North Koreans and trafficked people, with Kim Jong Il being the most powerful pimp of the Asian world.

What do I mean?

I mean, North Koreans were subject to a life of fear, deprivation, punishment, and absolute forced loyalty to the political state. Without this, people were hauled off to concentration camps, families divided, citizens killed outright.

"If you do not do what I say right now, I will hurt you and your loved ones."

Classic pimp manouver. Classic power tactics. Yet these tactics have been used for so long, and used so well that many North Koreans feel a deep sense of commitment still to their deceased leader. Comments from the West: "Why?! They're free now! What's wrong with them??"

In the West, we have been so trained to believe that when freedom is offered, oppressed people will automatically jump at our offers, race towards freedom, and be thankful for the end of the nightmare.

Not so.

People... we must be patient. First of all, the world is watching and waiting to see if the totalitarian regime will continue under Kim's 3rd son or if there will be an uprising. Or... will some altogether different happen? No matter the course, believers of the kingdom must continue to support those voices in NoKo who are daring to speak out for freedom, for the malnourishment of their people, for the beauty of their culture, and for singing those songs rising from the underground. They do so at their peril, at the risk of their lives, and at the risk of their families.

When a person or people group is oppressed for a long period of time, or when the oppression is so pervasive that you cannot stand or sit without the blessing or permission of the 'benevolent' leader, people's minds demand a reconciliation of this collision of worlds -- good and evil, freedom and slavery. Often this can look like oppressed people's loving and being devoted towards the almighty pimp - god, in their worlds. To do anything otherwise is to betray the only being who truly cares for them.

Sound familiar?

I cringe to think on it.

Instead of being angry or frustrated with North Koreans who may exhibit these tendencies at this time, we ought to be supporting the 'dissidents' who are valiantly working as change agents in their home country, and praying for all North Koreans and their beloved status before Jesus Christ... not a human dictator seeking undiluted power. This will take time... patience... and also a broadening of our own minds. When the freedom seeds that have been planted in NoKo sprout, they might bear fruit -- true fruit -- to which we are unaccustomed to seeing. Here, too, we must be patient as we learn from our brothers and sisters as they use their voices for the kingdom.

In the meantime, as much as we desire human rights, dignity, and the love of Christ to rise up within NoKo, we must never, ever forget the indignities and the affronts to people in our 'modern' countries. Democracy has shown itself to have its own form of terror and degradation. It is easy to point fingers at violent expressions of human abuses (North Korean concentration camps), but we justify our funny little Arab jokes, spits towards aboriginal people, or even to brothers and sisters in our Body. We even get more than a little pissed off when these seeds of malice are pointed out to us. Undercurrents such as these are the makings of a dictatorship, as well as poison to ourselves as persons. Yet... we're still 'better off' and better people than 'them'. Are we?

It is at times I am thankful we are not accountable to any form of political regime, leader or movement. Our allegiance is to the Creator... our Sustainer... our Saviour... our Eternal... our Messiah -- Jesus the Christ, Son of the Living God. His reign is that of love for all peoples and this world, for all peoples and the world the Word created. And His reign will know no end.

Now if that sounds like brainwashed, unrelenting loyalty to you...

... ask audacious questions of this Christ.

See what happens.

"Chains Shall He Break..."

As I stood with my congregation this morning, it was with the uneasy frustration of "nothingness" once again. Why the jadedness, I cannot say for sure at this point, but each time I rise to sing, I feel guilty for praising God with my lips, but having my heart far from Him.

Yet today... even the entire congregation was different. We sang traditional carols of the season, but there was an "umph" to our voices... a desperation... a shouting out that I had not heard (or perhaps had not been able to hear) for many months. We were a hungry people -- arms reached out to gather their loved ones close, shoulders were touched gently, and our spirits began to become loud, rather than our physical voices. I cannot explain it. Nor do I care to.

We began singing "O Holy Night", and our voices crescendoed. As we came to the next verse, my heart about stopped: "How had I been so blind as to not see this before?" I had sung this song many, many times, yet these words have never pierced me so profoundly as they did today.

"Truly He taught us to love one another..."

People are hard to love. We are. Sometimes, we turn to the poor and marginalized so that we can find someone "easy to love" because of their circumstance, rather than turning to the person next to us with whom we might have a disagreement, with whom we might be afraid of, or for whom we harbor secret resentments. Only we find the poor and marginalized are just as hard to love as ourselves, for the reflect the very same things we see in ourselves that we resent, fear, and loathe.

"His law is Love, and His gospel is peace..."

Jesus did not merely teach love. Had He stopped at that, we all know it would have come to nothing more than a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. But Jesus Christ IS love... thus His good news can be no other way than love and peace. God cannot be other than He is, and He is love. He loved us, and commands us to love one another not to oppress us, but to shape us more into His likeness. "Ahhh... but people are so hard to love"... hmmm. Yet is was God who chose to put skin on. Take a moment to think about how hard that was.

"Chains shall He break, for the slave... he is our brother..."

Advent is our timing of preparation. Not only do we prepare to announce compassion and justice, to assist victims, or to raise awareness of the chains people around the world bear daily... but we prepare ourselves to welcome warmly and lovingly these people we once considered beneath us. That thought might sound repugnant to us, especially those of us who emphatically believe in equality before God, but when push comes to shove: there are people groups whom we distance ourselves from. Oh sure, it's all well and good once they 'repent' and become like us, but until then, they must drop the chains themselves.

This line in the verse I nearly shouted... HE shall break the chains. It will not be any work of ours alone, nor are we to stand back and demand slaves free themselves of their burdens and look like we do first before they sense our love. Hence... we prepare. Often we think we are ready to embrace the released captive, only to find skeletons in our closets that prevent us from doing so.

"... and in His Name, ALL OPPRESSION SHALL CEASE."

Done.

Gone.

No more.

Not from traffickers.

Not from pimps.

Not from buyers.

Not from you.

Not from me.

Not from history.

Not from now.

Not from governments.

Not from corporations.

Not from each other.

No more.

I belted out this stanza like I had never sung it before in my life. For the children bought and sold to make our carpets... for the men bought and sold for their organs... for the women bought and sold just because they are women... for the many bought and sold to be destroyed through indentured servitude... for the many of all ages bought and sold to be destroyed by sex, porn, and prostitution... for the many bought and sold in the name of God for whatever deceitful purpose contrived by evil doers... we all sang together as one this morning. I pray that our humble and broken offering does not fall on deaf ears, divine or human.

Even in the brothels, there is the sacred. If God is everywhere, then He is indeed everywhere. It makes the saddest and most horrific of darknesses the holiest of nights. I don't say this lightly, or to suggest that because God is present, He is condoning the buying of flesh. Hardly.

What I am saying is... "chains shall He brake for the slave, he is our brother. And in His Name, all oppression shall cease."

If God Love chooses to enter flesh by way of the poorest class, nation, gender on earth, then no one anywhere is out of reach of His peace. The promise is true. Oppression will cease.

When A Girl Says "No", She Of Course Means "Yes"

(picture taken from Jezebel Magazine, Anna North, Dec 09, 2011)

A new study coming out of the University of Surrey in the UK indicates that participants identified more with the comments of real life rapists than with the harmless comments found in men's magazines. For the full article, please click on Can You Tell The Difference Between a Men's Magazine and a Rapist?

The exploding information sharing platform TED had a conversation this past week (see conversation here at TED Conversation) that I was watching closely. What I found disturbing -- more than the cited statistic that the average age of a boy's exposure to hardcore porn is now only 11 years old -- was the desire for parents to continue to use porn as a way of positive sexual education for their children. Of course they're going to experiment, so why shouldn't they know how to make themselves feel good as long as it's consenual?

So when I read about adults identifying more with the comments of convicted rapists rather than these educational magazines about liberating sexuality, I become seriously concerned.

1. The reality is: our hyper-sexualized culture has become so demanding that we have whatever kind of sex we want, when we want it, that we have lost focus. Instead of evolving or being liberated from the oppressive Victorian Age, we are descending into a kind of animal frenzy with a thin veneer of justification on top of us.

2. Porn is not educational. It is still largely male-centric: that is, women are still the objects and men are still the consumers. Despite what liberated feminists believe, or want to believe, women are still glossy pin-ups for guys to get off by. We haven't evolved nearly as much as we would want others to be. And despite what liberated feminists declare ("Well I know plenty of smart, sophisticated, learned, intelligent sex workers!"), I have yet to met a sex worker who fully loves her choices, or even sees her role in society as a choiceto begin with. Granted, I have not met every sex trade worker in the country, but I've met and known enough to be convinced that prostitution and porn are not black/white choices, if choice as we know it even enters the picture. (and by 'liberated feminist', I'm using a term LFs use to declare that they are women fully embracing all forms of sexuality, and that expressions of such sexuality must be engaged in to be fully woman... fully human... any suggestion to the contrary is seen as oppression. Please do not confuse this rather lopsided form of feminism with other uplifting, spirit-serving forms)

3. If people are struggling to have conversations with kids about sexuality and are turning to porn for it, what is lacking in our churches and spiritual circles where there ought to be a better chance for truth and a fuller scope of relationships? I understand movements like the Family Movement or the Purity Movement, but parts of me wonder: if we declare "what is a family" or "what is pure" so starkly, are we effectively creating an elitism without considering the ramifications? Are kids looking at porn not just for curiousity, but because they are scared to share their questions in spiritual circles for fear of being branded a sinner or given a bunch of theology that might just... kill their spirits? I hate porn. I hate it with a passion. I hate what it's done to our kids, our communities, and our families. But if a girl loses her virginity and is told "You're not pure anymore", I get almost as equally disturbed. Since when did sex determine purity? I thought that was the Spirit's work... the reaction of our churches has sometimes been as fanatical and puritanical as porn has become hardcore and extreme. 

4. In this hyper-sexualized culture, I know we need to draw attention to the realities of porn -- that it is selfish, deceitful, oppressive, and crude. It does nothing but take, take, take and has nothing to do with equality, liberation, or rights. But I need to say this too: as big of a part that porn plays in the sex trade, are those wanting to stand in abolition truly wanting to end sex's big dollar grip on our lives or... are we still drawn just to the sex aspect of it?

Ouch.

I can testify truly that to find volunteers to be advocates for those caught in labor trafficking are suddenly much harder to find when the sex aspect is less involved. Why is that? Are we all voyeurs at heart? I'd like to think not, but I can't help but wonder. Some days, I hate sharing the reality of sex trafficking having met people who use such a ministry to get the juicy goods. There are many people of great character who are not as such, but yes... I have met those who kind of fall away when the sex aspect is diminished. 

5. I hardly think returning to the Victorian era is any kind of answer. Being prudes or uptight people when it comes to sexual dialogue only pushes the porn agenda further -- then it really does become a viable option of learning. What are ways we can engage our kids with truth and love while exposing porn for what it is: abusive, addictive, oppressive shit that has destroyed millions of lives?

When men's magazines and rapists are both giving the SAME MESSAGES... do you think the violence is going to stop? Do you think the lust will? Do you think the trafficking will?

Oh but I forgot... women choose this lifestyle as fully liberated women who deserve the equal respect of the sex trade. Men have needs. They all look so happy in those mags... bars... hotel rooms...