Libya, Congo, Somalia, Hurricane Irene, typhoons in the Philippines (lived through 2 plus an earthquake), Afghanistan, Iraq... countries and nations in turmoil dominate our minds and screens, filling us the almost crazy amount of needs and pain in the world. Genocide... human slavery... poverty... ignorance... Christians fighting Christians... huge issues of our time need to be addressed with love and compassion.
And yet tonight I am panicking over my Urban Models for Social Transformation course. Someone please pass me a paper bag?
Continuing into my 2nd year at the Campolo College of Graduate & Professional Studies, I am aiming to complete the MAUS program (Master of Arts in Urban Studies: Community Development) by the end of next spring. To do so, I must complete this particular course that relies on clear, concise understanding of specified logic models.
Logic.
Perhaps reading through the assignments only is what is trapping me. I need to see and do and re-work the assignments to my understanding before mastering them. However, there seems to be an overwhelming abundance of work all pertaining to logic, logic, logic. And then there are my other 3 courses...
Really? Is this course necessary to fight the slave trade?
I am taken back immediately to grade school math and the struggle I fought there. "If Bill left Train Station "A" at 5:40am, riding at 50km/h, and Susan left Train Station "B" at 5:45am riding at 60km/h, where and when would they intersect?"
I always hoped they never would because that would mean they had crashed.
Aspie Brain sees the world through a definite pattern of logic, but often not the normative kind. Add to this my weakness of perfectionism and I have a recipe for "ALL HELL BREAKING LOOSE!"...
But I have to breathe... this is just one course.
Just one.
One.
Christ calls us to be counter-cultural and transformative by nature. Looking at the state of the world, there are so many people we can be to share His redemption. The world needs Him. We need Him. Struggle with a course will not determine my servanthood before Him.
I'll have to remind myself of that when models melt before my eyes and reconstruct in undefinable patterns.
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