Instead of a letter about how I'm leaving you, I'm writing you to tell you I'm staying.
I'm sure you know how to find sex. You do it on a consistent basis -- online, snail mail, XXX movies, on the street corner, in a foreign country. You know what stroll to troll, what strip to flip, and which corner to prowl. You're smart, educated, married... kids even. You've got money (sometimes), and even if you don't, you spend it on sex anyway because you just can't get enough.
Why?
Why can't you get enough?
That's right... you're doing all of us a public service by accessing prostitutes. By using and exploiting men, women, and children for sale, your lust is satiated (for a time), your violence is abated (for a little while), and your loneliness is filled (in the moment). By taking what you want when you want it, you justify your actions with sad and pitiful excuses. Do you kiss your kids' heads with that mouth you use to hurt other people?
It's your right. "She came onto me."
As a consumer with sexual needs and desires, if it's on the shelf to be bought, it's your right to pay up. Those pros aren't people. They're just commodities that satisfy your penis. It's all about you, and that's the way you want it -- straight up.
You 'didn't know'.
Using and exploiting people for sex wasn't ever your intention! You just began to feel bad about life... about your job... about your relationships... and you turned to what was close. You never thought ahead that the body underneath you was a real person -- a person being harmed, tortured and scarred by your rutting. Somewhere in the back of your mind you felt something wasn't quite right, but you've never been able to name it. You've never wanted to.
You are the pensioner whose wife died 10 years ago.
You are the son whose dad is initiating you into 'manhood'.
You are the college frat boy drunk on booze, power and pride.
You are the husband of 15 years and father of 3 kids.
You are the working dude just blowing off steam.
You are the gentle "guy-next-door".
You are the violent, angry sadist who enjoys harming and hurting those around you.
You are the gang member.
You are an abuse victim.
You are the porn addict.
You are the newlywed.
You are the pastor.
You are the atheist.
You are Caucasian... African-American... First Nations... Asian... Hispanic...
That's a lot of you. That's a lot of Johns. Yes, there are women who exploit, rape, and take advantage of oppressed people, but tonight... this letter is for you: John.
We're left with a choice.
We can continue like we have been and freeze you out. We can condemn you all in one fell swoop and watch you burn, being so righteous as we are. We can admonish believers in churches and families of the evils of sexual perversion and exploitation and immorality, and yet lock our doors when you perhaps are found out, or... maybe... you come forward on your own holding a slim hope that you might find forgiveness.
I'll be honest: the instinct in me wants the freeze out. Knowing men, women and children who have all suffered at your hands -- YOUR hands -- and the just punishment you deserve, I will admit that my sense of indignation, rage and horror threaten to take over. Do you have any idea of the lives you have destroyed?
You.
Your lust.
Your anger.
Your loneliness.
Your addiction.
You... have destroyed countless lives. Many cannot come back to find healing. Many have crossed over.
But there's another option. It's the more difficult one, the higher one, the one that would tear us all to pieces as broken vessels before a holy and loving God. Make no mistake, John, He is both: loving and holy. If we choose this option, there is forgiveness for you as there is for me. There is healing for you as there is for me. There is reconciliation for you as there is for me.
Instead of leaving you, we choose to stay. We cannot choose our second option by leaving you to burn.
So, John, know this: we are not going anywhere. We see you. We know you. In many cases, we love you. In more cases, it's hard to love you (if you care). But we see you and you cannot hide from the relentless passion of Jesus Christ.
You will want us to go away. You don't want to look at the faces of all the lives that have been ripped apart by your choice, your lust, your perversions, your violence. You will scream for us to "Go away!", but we refuse. We will stand... before you, beside you, with you, and against you.
What you are doing is wrong. Rape... burnings... beatings... strangulation... forcible consumption of urine and feces... adultery... showing your children how poorly to treat women... forced starvation... ice baths... STI's... stabbings... OD's... murder...
... should I go on?
You are in the wrong, John. You are in the wrong.
But instead of standing as holier-than-you over you, we will face our Saviour (as you will... as you must) together and experience a grace and mercy far past explanation. We will not leave you to decay in your own filth. By acting so self-righteously, we risk leaving more vulnerable men... more women... more kids... all waiting in horror for your return, unable to escape.
You have a choice too, John. As we turn to face you in justice and love, you have the choice to face your life...
... and begin to see women and children in the light God created them in.
The choice is yours.
There's a better way.
Should you choose to carry on carousing in your pain-causing ways, know this: we will be there too, pleading the justice and mercy of your victims.
We both stand at a crossroads, you and I.
I pray that you, John, choose far better than you have. Lives are depending on it.
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