The Underground Railroad

Dear John,

Dear John,

Instead of a letter about how I'm leaving you, I'm writing you to tell you I'm staying.

I'm sure you know how to find sex. You do it on a consistent basis -- online, snail mail, XXX movies, on the street corner, in a foreign country. You know what stroll to troll, what strip to flip, and which corner to prowl. You're smart, educated, married... kids even. You've got money (sometimes), and even if you don't, you spend it on sex anyway because you just can't get enough.

Why?

Why can't you get enough?

That's right... you're doing all of us a public service by accessing prostitutes. By using and exploiting men, women, and children for sale, your lust is satiated (for a time), your violence is abated (for a little while), and your loneliness is filled (in the moment). By taking what you want when you want it, you justify your actions with sad and pitiful excuses. Do you kiss your kids' heads with that mouth you use to hurt other people?

It's your right. "She came onto me."

As a consumer with sexual needs and desires, if it's on the shelf to be bought, it's your right to pay up. Those pros aren't people. They're just commodities that satisfy your penis. It's all about you, and that's the way you want it -- straight up.

You 'didn't know'.

Using and exploiting people for sex wasn't ever your intention! You just began to feel bad about life... about your job... about your relationships... and you turned to what was close. You never thought ahead that the body underneath you was a real person -- a person being harmed, tortured and scarred by your rutting. Somewhere in the back of your mind you felt something wasn't quite right, but you've never been able to name it. You've never wanted to.

You are the pensioner whose wife died 10 years ago.

You are the son whose dad is initiating you into 'manhood'.

You are the college frat boy drunk on booze, power and pride.

You are the husband of 15 years and father of 3 kids.

You are the working dude just blowing off steam.

You are the gentle "guy-next-door".

You are the violent, angry sadist who enjoys harming and hurting those around you.

You are the gang member.

You are an abuse victim.

You are the porn addict.

You are the newlywed. 

You are the pastor.

You are the atheist.

You are Caucasian... African-American... First Nations... Asian... Hispanic... 

That's a lot of you. That's a lot of Johns. Yes, there are women who exploit, rape, and take advantage of oppressed people, but tonight... this letter is for you: John.

We're left with a choice.

We can continue like we have been and freeze you out. We can condemn you all in one fell swoop and watch you burn, being so righteous as we are. We can admonish believers in churches and families of the evils of sexual perversion and exploitation and immorality, and yet lock our doors when you perhaps are found out, or... maybe... you come forward on your own holding a slim hope that you might find forgiveness.

I'll be honest: the instinct in me wants the freeze out. Knowing men, women and children who have all suffered at your hands -- YOUR hands -- and the just punishment you deserve, I will admit that my sense of indignation, rage and horror threaten to take over. Do you have any idea of the lives you have destroyed?

You.

Your lust.

Your anger.

Your loneliness.

Your addiction.

You... have destroyed countless lives. Many cannot come back to find healing. Many have crossed over.

But there's another option. It's the more difficult one, the higher one, the one that would tear us all to pieces as broken vessels before a holy and loving God. Make no mistake, John, He is both: loving and holy. If we choose this option, there is forgiveness for you as there is for me. There is healing for you as there is for me. There is reconciliation for you as there is for me.

Instead of leaving you, we choose to stay. We cannot choose our second option by leaving you to burn.

So, John, know this: we are not going anywhere. We see you. We know you. In many cases, we love you. In more cases, it's hard to love you (if you care). But we see you and you cannot hide from the relentless passion of Jesus Christ.

You will want us to go away. You don't want to look at the faces of all the lives that have been ripped apart by your choice, your lust, your perversions, your violence. You will scream for us to "Go away!", but we refuse. We will stand... before you, beside you, with you, and against you. 

What you are doing is wrong. Rape... burnings... beatings... strangulation... forcible consumption of urine and feces... adultery... showing your children how poorly to treat women... forced starvation... ice baths... STI's... stabbings... OD's... murder...

... should I go on?

You are in the wrong, John. You are in the wrong.

But instead of standing as holier-than-you over you, we will face our Saviour (as you will... as you must) together and experience a grace and mercy far past explanation. We will not leave you to decay in your own filth. By acting so self-righteously, we risk leaving more vulnerable men... more women... more kids... all waiting in horror for your return, unable to escape.

You have a choice too, John. As we turn to face you in justice and love, you have the choice to face your life...

... and begin to see women and children in the light God created them in.

The choice is yours.

There's a better way.

Should you choose to carry on carousing in your pain-causing ways, know this: we will be there too, pleading the justice and mercy of your victims.

We both stand at a crossroads, you and I.

I pray that you, John, choose far better than you have. Lives are depending on it.

Free Online Course for Canadian Service Providers: Identify HT in Your Community

The Office to Combat Trafficking in Persons (OCTIP) of British Colombia, and the Government of Canada have developed a free online training course for Canadian frontline workers in varying capacities. Called Human Trafficking: Canada is Not Immune, it is a tool for those new (or experienced) to the world of the modern slave trade in Canada. Frontline workers are given definitions, ways to spot trafficking in their local communities, what to do if trafficking is suspected, and current Canadian responses across the country.

For those people who have been looking for orientations into dealing with HT, or want to know how to begin to deal with it your organziations, this looks to be like a great introduction. Great work OCTIP!

Happy Juneteenth! The Oldest Celebration of Slavery Abolition in the USA...

HAPPY JUNETEENTH, EVERYONE!!!!

When the proclamation of emancipation for slaves in the United States finally spread around, Texas was the last state to hear about it. Originating in Galveston, June 19, 1865 was declared as a day of freedom, joy and liberation. Shortened to the beloved term -- Juneteenth -- of today, it is still widely celebrated with guest speakers in churches, picnics, and dreams/hopes for continued freedom and hope for the future.

So Happy Juneteenth, one and all. To freedom!

Alberta priest charged with fraud relieved of duties - Edmonton - CBC News

Alberta priest charged with fraud relieved of duties - Edmonton - CBC News.

 (picture from cbc.ca)

Our justice system bases its treatment of alleged offenders on the maxim: "innocent until proven guilty". Father Lipinski is accused of making a good deal of cash off of Polish workers he brought to Alberta, while mistreating them and threatening them at the same time. He and his wife deny all allegations and are suing the workers who made the original allegations.

As an abolitionist, my radar is up and I must admit when I read about the amount of time, effort and research law enforcement put into this investigation -- the charges being the first of its kind in Alberta -- my mind saw one word: "Guilty". I became the reason for our entire rationale of holding the accused innocent until proven guilty because reactive responses are instantaneous and often irrational, regardless of whether or not they are correct.

As a Christian, how do I read this? A leader in the faith is being accused of heinous behaviour. 1) he is being brought to the account that is long overdue, knowing Christians are not immune to sin, or 2) as a leader, regardless of his faith tradition, his credibility truly is being dragged through the mud for reasons as yet to be revealed. I want to think that a godly man would never commit the crimes Father Lipinski is being accused of (in my region of the world too). How many innocent men and women have been victims of miscarried justice based of false accusations and trumped up charges? The other side of me counters with the thought: "if he was so innocent, why the suit for $10 mill?" How many other faith leaders have abused their positions and taken advantage of the people around them for personal and sinful gain?

God... grant us all wisdom and love. May we not give way to selfish anger or vindiction, but may we pursue justice with the desire for the truth. The part of me that wants to see only a hypocrite in the picture, take and soothe so that the mind, spirit and heart is clear with your intent. For those who are claiming to have been abused and beaten and hurt, continue to heal, help and restore.

And in all things, love and forgiveness... grace, love and forgiveness.

 

This Post is Definitely NOT About the Van Riot (some of it)

  (pic from Vancouver Sun.ca)

I'm a pacifist. I do not believe violence will solve oppressive situations. But I understand the impulse behind it, and its logic. Libya, Syria, Egypt (present day)... Bucharest, Moscow, Tiananmen Square (historical)... are only a few examples of violent and non-violent protests to demand freedom... food... education... LIFE.

Rioting over a shiny cup because the hometown team didn't win is nothing more than a giant temper tantrum. Shameful. With all that is happening in our world that requires true attention and love, Canadians had no right to do what they did. But some did it anyway and mocked those people truly standing for their lives in our global village. So in that sense, it was not about 'Nuck fans but the fans took it anyway.

Ethical question, though: police are asking all people who took photos, videos, and what not to send them in so law enforcement can identify the rioters.

Mob mentality.

If you were standing by cheering on the rioters, turn yourself in. You are just as guilty as the rioters themselves. If you were standing by, cheering them on while taking pictures -- see the previous statement. If you were standing by taking pics, knowing it was wrong but doing nothing to help...

Answer if for yourself.

How many people does it take to film a riot while the rioters do even more damage?

Just a question.

Dear Terri-Jean Bedford

(picture from cbc.ca)

Dear Ms.Bedford,

I am positive that you have received a stunning amount of response already as a result of your determination to have all of Canadian prostitution legalized. Despite the rolling Canada Post strike, I have no doubt people are finding every way possible to make sure their voices get to your ears. Email, voicemail, letters-to-the-editor, face-to-face, dog sled, horse teams... you certainly have the ear of the country!

All this to say, what I am sharing with you today is likely nothing new. Certainly you have already heard from people from all sides of the issue. However, as an abolitionist, a believer, and a woman, I will simply add my voice to the thunder that is billowing across the nation and pray that perhaps some will hear.

First of all, I do not agree with your assertion that sex trade work is a safe, fun, and legitimate profession for women (or men). Having worked with, become friends with, wept with, and laughed with women in the sex trade and exiting the sex trade, I can speak with all honesty that none of them in my experience have ever wanted this lifestyle for themselves. Some, at some point, did choose prostitution believing it was an fast way towards easy money and sexual prowess. Yet soon into 'the lifestyle' it became abundantly clear to them that fulfillment was nowhere to be found. Pimp or no pimp, drugs or no drugs, selling the body for sex was one-way ticket to despair, shame and even suicide.

Unlike other professions where gifts and talents and skills can be utilized in a positive way, prostitution demands the prostitute to give of her spirit and soul. Sex is not only a physical act, but one that engages the spirit, the mind, the heart -- of both (or more) partners. While you may insist that simple, consensual transactions are merely physical, you would be wrong. You cannot re-define the power of sex, nor the fraility and broken nature of people. Put together, you already have a recipe for destruction.

I would like to understand the inner workings of your thoughts, your heart and your soul: why is it that you find sexual power exerted over a man so gratifying? On a daily basis, does that whip really define who you are? I don't think so. I believe you have chosen it as such. Sadly, you have shown the world that this is all of whom you are -- a dominatrix out for sex, and nothing more. When in reality, you are certainly far more.

Your stand, Terri-Jean, is appalling. The violence in the sex trade is already of frightening proportions, and the demand for trafficked women/children will not go down when your new Canada legislates a fully legalized system. In fact, it will go up. You are advocating for an environment ripe for greater exploitation of women and children, including yourself (while it would appear that much of your exploitation is self-inflicted. Please do correct me if I am wrong). I speak of victims from the standpoint of having engaged the issue, been with the people, researched it academically, and walked this journey over 11 years. I would respectfully ask of you, Ms.Bedford, to step down. You do not know what you are asking of your country, or what such a landmark decision will do to our most vulnerable people.

Finally, Terri-Jean, know that you are loved. Yes... here comes the religion. I don't care about your persona, whip-like or otherwise, I don't care about your demand to have sex-on-call being so loud, and I don't care that you feel that you are speaking for what is right. What I care about is you knowing that God created you.

You.

Not the whips and chains woman, but you. Every hair on your head is counted, every thought that sweeps past your mind is known, every tear you've shed is held close, and every angry comment was already heard in advance. Your God knows you, Terri-Jean... and he loves you. He loves you so much that he has given his own life for you so that you might know true love, not transactional sexuality which destroys. He loves you, and aches for his daughter to come home. He waits for you to see and hear him finally so that you might lay down this life you have built around shallow sin, and be created into the true person he designed you to be.

I can see you rolling your eyes now. Ha! I am not seeking to convert you, Terri-Jean. That is not my job; I am not God. But I do know him, his redemption and love, and I would want for nothing more than for you to experience this too. It would mean laying down the persona you have shown the world; it would mean facing the truth of you who are before God, and the danger you are supporting through your lifestyle; and it would mean being willing to be totally transformed into the forgiven daughter of grace I pray you will become.

To you, I am nothing -- simply a lover of God, and a seeker of justice and compassion. But I pray that to you, Jesus Christ would become everything and that you would finally experience the love that is vacant in your life right now.

I pray you would come home.

Sincerely,

Erin
 
 
 

Gypsy Child Thieves - The Passionate Eye Sunday Showcase | CBC News Network

Gypsy Child Thieves - The Passionate Eye Sunday Showcase | CBC News Network.

 (image from CBC.ca)

As always, human trafficking is tied and twined with other crimes, acts and situations. Roma children are some of the most exploited children in Europe, and the situation is hardly getting better. There are so many camps and opinions about when a child is responsible for his/her actions, when he/she is not, when do extenuating circumstances create force or coercion in the child's life forcing the hand, etc.

There is no easy answer here. Poverty, racism, the lure of a better life, manipulation, money, power, lust, malnutrition, disease and a multitude of other factors all meld into this quagmire stew that the Roma children now find themselves in. As you peruse the article, please bear in the mind the many, many other factors at play here that perhaps are not prominent in the feature.

Poor Journalism Leads to Lumping

 (photo from theguardian.uk)

Well, it would seem this little piece of The Underground Railroad has made its way across the pond. Brendan O'Neill (seen above) from the UK's Telegraph somehow stumbled across my blog about Toronto's Slutwalk and tagged it into his own little piece of work.

Like me, he is not too impressed with Slutwalk, but I was singularly unimpressed (though not shocked) that he took my words out of context, forgot to follow up with other pieces I and other people had written, and painted things to appear that I stood hand-in-hand with all of what SlutWalk promotes. It's amusing in a way, but sad.

So I was lumped in with all of the SlutWalk crowd -- that 3rd wave of feminism that is be bandied about. He has his shorts in a bunch when I lumped cat calls and wolf whistles into the same category as rape. According to O'Neill, women ought to feel complimented when men offer univited gestures of sexuality.

Hmmmm... anyone else out there feel complimented when a buffoon makes public comments about your breasts or butt?

Yet hold on now. We perhaps ought to hear the man out. Read his arguments. Fairly listen to his stand.

Heard. Read. Listened.

Sorry, O'Neill. Do your research on the level of sexual violence in our world today (properly this time), and how much of it begins with cat calls and wolf whistles. Your desire to show all women your sexual bravado is... what was that? Sorry, O'Neill. The phone rang. Couldn't hear your little bravado over the ring.

But I'm not sorry about your poor journalism skills, poor research skills, and lack of understanding. That is your choice to be ignorant under all that machismo. It's true I'm just a puny, one-gal blogger from Canada; nothing in comparison to a Telegraph's noted celebrity. Yet you tagged my blog into your column. And you did it out of context to paint your own world.

Next time, maybe ask a few more questions about whose material you are posting before publishing a poor piece. You might just begin to sound credible.

"I Grew Up In the Church. I Have No Story."

 
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, as Christian media is apt to do, a very bad knock-off of another mainstream film has been made. This time, the victim is Sunday School Musical, made in 2008 (hence the photo). High School Musical was pretty bad to begin with, so one might well imagine the lame plot, bad acting, and poor writing in this "Jesus-fied" version.

Seriously, is it too much to ask that Christian actors hone their craft? Or that writers actually develop original, organic storylines...?

Stories... hmmm... while beefing off about the sad state of Christian media could be fun, that's not what I'm putting forth today. In Sunday School Musical, as the name suggests, the youth involved are involved in... everything: Sunday School, choir, morning services.

More and more I have been having some amazing conversations with young people born and raised in the church who believe that they have no story of significance to tell. None. Nada.

They accepted Jesus when they were 5, prayed the "Sinner's Prayer" (ummm... another blog), attended Sunday School, Awana's, King's Kids, Pioneer Girls, catechism, confirmation classes, Bible Study, choir, worship teams, Sunday morning services, Sunday EVENING services, youth group, leadership teams, missions' trips, and...

Nothing to show for it. Or so it seems to them.

The same narrative keeps threading its way through these troubled conversations: "I've known God all my life. I'm the good kid. I know He's saved me from something but... He hasn't DONE anything with me. I'm not like that bad kids who came back."

So I put out a question to you all -- youth and leaders alike: do we (those of us raised and saturated in the church) feel the deep need to create our own story just to make it seem like God has forgiven us for something? Do we self-destruct, hurt, rebel, become angry or walk away because we desparately need to somehow feel that sense of being pursued by God who brings us back from the pits?

My sense is yes. We do. Not all of us. But certainly a good number of us, and if the increase in this type of conversation with youth holds true, more of us.

I'm not saying that raising our children in godly environments is at all bad. In fact, it is a beautiful charge given to parents from God. I do sometimes question the amount of programming we stick our kids in, thus preventing any out-of-church activity. Kids become so insulated that they have absolutely no room to fail, no room to truly experience grace, and no room to charge head-on into God on His terms. It's more on the church's terms.

Am I saying: "Go forth and sin?"

No.

What I am saying is that many youth feel that by being good all of the time without any exposure to the outside world feel an uprising within. They see others who have been 'bad', the struggles they have faced, and the transformation they have experienced through Jesus. The "church-ey" kids see all of this, and wish they could have that too.

But no... they accepted Jesus when they were 5. Why should God take any notice of them now?

The flawed thinking/feeling continues. If the 'bad' kids experienced such radical transformation, then... being 'bad'=transformation.

The narrative thickens.

"If God won't give me a story to tell about what He's done in my life, I'll create my own."

Enter: cutting, partying, promiscuity, addictions, rebellion... we all know the list. Anything a kid can do to be 'bad', not always with the intent to walk away from the church, he or she will do just so they can share in the like transformation of their 'bad' peers.

Now, many of you parents and leaders are thinking: "That's just stupid!"

Well think about it... when all those angels are rejoicing over one sinner who repents, when the thief on the cross does his death-cross confession (wasn't a bed, that's for sure), and when Jesus talks about the worst of sinners loving more because they have been forgiven more, what's a kid to think?

Haven't any of you acted out just to get someone's attention?

Doesn't it make sense that when the message is perpetually stoned into our heads that 'the bad people will be forgiven much, thus love much', it will carve out some other consequences?

Of course youth want to create their own stories! When they see no sin in their lives (no sin that visibly shows God's working anyway), when they seemingly have done everything right, when they have been obedient, when they have been kind, when they have attended every single church event, but sense no love from God or others... but see the 'bad' being loved... who's attention will they go to any lengths to get?

It may not be 'right'. It may not make sense. And certainly, with God, it doesn't have to. But it is most certainly real.

When it doesn't seem like we have a story to tell that shares the redemptive work of God, humanity will sometimes crave that narrative so deeply as to create its own. I believe many youth are in that place right now.

What to do? Do we take it awayn from them? Straighten up and fly right?

Or...

Do we listen?

 

I Will Not Receive the Word 'Slut'

 
Saturday, June 04 will see Edmonton's first SlutWalk. Inspired by events in Toronto, where comments made by a police official sparked outrage among women (see CBC's original coverage here), Edmonton women are following suit along with similar walks around the world. The controversy about the name itself still rages on.

I wrote before about Toronto's first-ever walk and my original feelings about it. I must say, they haven't changed one bit. In fact, it saddens me to see so many women trash themselves over a word. You might be thinking: "Well, you're doing the same thing by getting prickly over the word 'slut', too. It's just a word!"

Well... if it was just a word, the whole impetus of taking back the word 'slut' would have no merit in the least. The argument, in part, is indeed about the word. To take back or not to take back.

When a police official makes tactless and, dare I say, evil comments about women who apparently dress like sluts are somehow deserving of sexual violence, yes outrage should ensue! I agree with this stand of SlutWalk here. It does not matter if you are straight or LGBTQ, sexual assault is absolutely never called for.

"She asked for it"..."she came on to me"... "she wanted it"... let me be clear: if a girl or woman approaches you and acts provocatively, you still have control over your brain and your penis. You still have the full choice of saying "No". End of story. If the woman is under the influence of alcohol or drugs, you have an even greater responsibility to say "No". For by engaging in sexual encounters with someone who does not have possession of their full faculties, you are taking advantage. If you still choose to engage in these encounters because, at first, it was all consensual at the beginning (drugs or alcohol involved or not), if she says "NO! STOP!" at any point, it's game over. You stop.

Some of you, men and women, believer and unbeliever, are saying right now: "But look at the way she was dressed! Surely some of the responsibility falls on her!"

Wrong statement for the context, people.

That's the point of SlutWalk: it does not matter how a woman is dressed, there is never any excuse for sexual assault -- rape, trafficking, forced fondling, forced prostitution, porngraphy, or any number of acts against the woman's will and choice. Clear?

When we're concerned about our daughters, sisters, mothers, aunts, nieces, friends and co-workers dressing provocatively, this conversation must take place in a loving relationship through example outside of a sexual assault context. I'm talking about being frank with our kids: dressing up trampy because Tyra Banks does is not cool. Showing off your boobs because Lady Gaga has a great set is self-demeaning.

Yeah, fashion can be fun! But our female bodies were created beautiful by God and not meant to be used as eye candy for the world. I'm not asking us, as women, to go all Victorian again (that had it's own repercussions). What I am saying is: there are ways to be beautiful without selling your body each day in front of a mirror. Deliberately dressing in see-through tights, tube tops with your boobs hanging out, and 6-inch spikes just to prove a point on an awareness walk showing that world that you are indeed NOT a slut is... backwards.

Back to the issue at hand: my refusal to take back the world 'slut'. There is precedent for taking back dirty words. The name "Christian" for example was not a title early church believers took for themselves. Meaning "little Christs", it was a derogatory name from the Roman Empire that, at the time, was hunting down these rabble rouses, torturing them, and killing them. If you were called a "Christian", it was meant as filthy insult (and probably also meant you were going to end up a human candle in Nero's courtyard, or facing a pack of seriously hungry lions). Instead of rebelling against the word, early believers took stock of what the name truly meant and embraced it. Yes! We are "little Christs", for that is who Christ truly called us to be.

The same cannot be said of "slut".

It denotes "a promiscuous woman; a prostitute" (and not in the least ways respectfully, either). Let's face it, if a woman acts in ways we would disagree with, calling her bad names flies in the face of us being "little Christs" as well as destroys who she really is, involved in promiscuity, prostitution or not.

While I applaud women for wanting to erase such labels given on the basis of something such as clothing, I do not see any goodness in taking back the word. I will not go up to one of my girls at youth group and say, "You look great today, my little slut", or "Hey Slut! What's up?"

Where's the freedom here?

People around the world are working so hard to end sexual violence. Please don't add to it by placing a sexually violent word around our necks, when there are so many better ways of sending the message out.