Here in town, there has been a tradition called 'Safe Grad' -- aka "Parents Buying Booze So Kids Can Get As Drunk As Possible In a Safe Environment'. The rationale behind the practice is that "kids are going to do it anyway, so we might as well make sure they are safe, supervised, and secure while they get gooned."
Safe Grad has always generated frantic discussion amongst people. Is it right? Is it wrong? What's too much? But it's not only parents who question Safe Grad. Sometimes, in our culture of expectations that youth WILL drink, and they WILL do drugs, and they WILL sleep around, we forget that many teenagers don't want to have any part in the party scene. They dislike being stereotyped as crazy party-ers.
So... the question that's come to me from teens I know is this: what do you think of Safe Grad? Should I go?
#1 -- What do I think?
It think the entire idea of Safe Grad is offensive to youth, adults and the entire community. Not every kid at Safe Grad is of legal drinking age, so not only is it promoting this amazing transition in your life through drunken oblivion... but it's breaking the law. By parents. Not cool. Nor has it shown itself to be entirely safe.
How many kids do you know know their liquor limits? How many attend Safe Grad "just for 1 beer"? Not many. Kids go so they can get totally wasted. Is this really how you want to remember one of the biggest nights of your life? I can understand your frustration.
The Bible is clear: having a drink or two is fine. Jesus did turn water into wine, after all. However, drunkenness is forbidden. End of story. It leads to rotten behaviour you only end regretting, and even dangerous encounters. Yes, people do make mistakes. Especially when we start trying alcohol and we don't know how it affects us, people sometimes get a bit drunk. But learning limits is a far cry from deliberately going to a party where the whole purpose is to get drunk and act stupid.
So ask yourself: is this who I really want to be remembered as? When parents are letting underage kids drink, do I really want to be a part of that? When you think of your high school graduation, do you really want a blank, fuzzy panel of memories that may or may not have happened?
Having said all of that, I must say a huge "I'm sorry" to you... and all youth. Our culture has stripped away almost every rite of passage in our lives, but the ones we still hold onto we celebrate by getting drunk. We have not set a great example for you. I can hear the upset tone in your voice... and all I can say is: I'm sorry. We all need to do better. Celebrations are certainly fun and cool and an "epic" time can be had without drunken idiocy.
#2 -- Should You Go?
Only you can answer that. I've returned some questions to you to think about. You know that when you attend parties where everyone is drinking except you, you end up really, really bored. People are puking, passing out, doing nasty things to their "friends"... but in your right mind, you sit back and wait to be the DD. Ummmm... yeah... sounds fun.
You know, too, that girls have been raped and in other ways abused during these parties. Sure, kids are dropped off at a 'designated area' afterwards, but the party doesn't end there. How many boys and girls are ill at the thought of sharing what really happened to them on grad night? You could be the safest person there, but again: do you want to be a part of that scene? Then again... if you have good friends who you think are being risky, you might see yourself as a bodyguard? While I would wish for you a happier grad night, I applaud you wanting to make sure your friends are safe.
I agree with you: not matter how drunk anyone gets, NO means NO. A drunken girl is not an open invitation. The same goes for gay guys who've reported forced sodomy during parties. Glad we're thinking on the same lines.
Whatever you choose, you are loved. If you get drunk, you and I perhaps will be talking later on about some things, but you're loved. Bar none. If you choose to go and not drink, you are loved. If you choose not to go and find other ways to celebrate your Grade 12 grad, you're loved. Sensing a theme?
You only have one high school grad. It doesn't have to be illegal, finding you puking your guts out or leaving you with a bad idea that celebration = getting bombed.
Choosing not to drink, in my opinion, is the more courageous stand. But that's just my opinion.
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